Story Of My Life

Yesterday, while trying to get things together for O, How Pinteresting Wednesdays I found myself knee deep in Ecards... each of which I replied "Story Of My Life!" It is seriously like these people are lurking in the walls of my house stalking out their next joke.. at my expense. 

While they make me laugh (literally out loud) most every time, the sad thing is that they are all way too true.

Ok, seriously. I never keep leftovers unless it's something like spaghetti or chili. Something that can be frozen. But when we have friends over and they are helping with the kitchen after a cookout, they always love to save the leftovers.... like most normal people. I don't know how many times I have to  tell them but I am just going to throw it away or let it sit and rot for months bc I don't know it's there.
UhhhHmmmm Krista... Cough Cough Stephanie... Cough..
Kidding Chicas!
Love you, Mean it.

I can get a house spotless (to the naked eye anyways) quicker than you can say "Someone's on their way over." It is a true skill.

This is me every single day of my life.
I cherish my sleep more than words can say.
Even that very last few seconds.
Just one more minute.... 

I do not speak until after lunch. I advise any and all people to steer clear, unless you are telling me something awesome... then I might listen... Maybe..

You have been warned!

Doesn't this just make you sick? Work our butts off so others can sit on their porches and watch the cars pass... Completely fair.

Story of my life. 

5 Times.... I do this every. single. freakin'. time. Never fails. 

Speaks for itself.

Everyone always tells me this.... Little do they know..
(Kidding... Kinda)

And the moral of this blog post, Callie is lazy and lovin' it!


  1. Love these - especially the last one ;)

  2. Bwaaaahahaha! Regarding the cleaning, I just found out that two of my best friends didn't tell me they had a cleaning lady until I caught her at one of their houses. They didn't want to tell me because they thought I'd think less of them. Seriously? It makes me feel great because now I can compare my house to yours and feel better that my house is only 75% as clean as yours, but it's aaaaaall me, baby.

    ;) And the bed haiku?! HA!

  3. Hilarious. I love every single one of these!

  4. Those are funny! I totally do the leftovers thing!

  5. I love all of these! The sleep Haiku and shy and quiet ones are literally the story of my life!

    Just found your blog, love it!

  6. hahahahhaha love them all. They all apply to me.

  7. I am so guilty of the restarting the dryer and tupperware..oops!! At least I'm not the only one :P

  8. haha love all of these callie!! so funny

  9. Most of them apply to me... especially the one about cleaning the house before people come over! I can spit shine my house so quickly before people arrive it's not even funny... no plans for people coming over, we live in a mess for weeks!

  10. TOO funny and I totally agree with all of them! I love those cards they are hilarious!

  11. these are hilarious! i can relate to pretty much ever. single. one. haha!

  12. OMG!!!!! I love every one of these!!! And your explanations are exactly what I would say!! hahaha I am seriously laughing out loud at my desk! And yes... I do not talk before noon either! And I have all these lil ole bitties who want to chat in the morning when I get in at 830! NOT FREAKING HAPPENING!!!! hahaha xoxo!

  13. Haha this post brightened my day. I absolutely relate to the Tupperware and restarting the dryer cards--so true!!

  14. Hilarious! I live when people admit to feeling like this bc I always feel like the only one! :-)

  15. You and I are two peas in a pod, girlfriend. Seriously. I'm laughing my head off at ALL of these!

  16. Seriously story of my life as well! Aside from the leftovers. I would be that friend that made you keep it!! hah.

  17. Haha I love all of these! Especially the leftover and dryer ones...so true!